A story.
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2016 12:21 pm
Once upon a time, there was a place like this one.
It was filled with life, and joy. And so much rage and salt.
There came upon this place a saint, and a clown. He was kind, and brutal and wore the image of a great man.
He looked into this place and he saw it's potential...and he said "Let there be lulz"
And thus the spam was born.
As he spread the word of spam, there were many who hated him...and some who saw his wisdom.
The once great and now silent ones...
Col. Michael...Ishmayeck...Emma...
I was among them, and we were as brothers.
Even Emma, because this is my story and I don't feel like thinking about gender pronouns when discussing "people" on the internet.
Then Psi came to us, first as an enemy...but deep within, an ally.
We ran and frolicked in the fields of This and That...and in time we jolly few became many.
The spammers had arisen.
As our numbers began to bog down this wonderous place, it became necessary to create a home...a place where we could be free and do as we wished...
And so we were gifted with a Temple of Spam. To make our own, and love.
It was here that we honed our craft, learned how to survive in the greater forums. To fulfill our function, as Psi so wisely understood it.
We were the clowns, we would bring keks to an otherwise angry place...and remind the good and evil folks of these forums that this was, in the end, just a game.
The spammers took many paths, and in time we formed four great factions.
The First faction, the spammers who would not be contained. Short in skill, but with boundless enthusiasm. They were led by the Great One...Hidden. Though a powerfully destructive force, they were in their hearts spammers, and they made sure the greater forums did not forget who we were.
The Second faction, those of our enemies who became our allies. The mods who saw the humor in our souls, and sought to contain the first faction's destructive nature. For the good of all. Led by the Great One Psi Kiya Trist, first among many and one of the greater forum's eldest.
The Third Faction, the children of Buck. Spammers in their truest form, they seek to bring the lulz to everyone. Whether they want it or not. They self-contain refusing to use the power of spam without purpose. When one can spam the greater forums without fear, surviving the wrath of the mods...then one has ascended to the ranks of the Third Faction. The greatest of all spammers leads this faction, Buck himself...THE SUPREME HALLOWED ELDER GOD OF SPAM!
And finally...the Fourth Faction. We of the Fourth faction have walked all the other paths, and we have mastered them. But we answer a higher calling, to keep the histories of the Temple. To retain the culture of it's people, and to return in times of need. There have been few of the Fourth Faction...and I am it's founder.
It was a golden age. We reveled, and we fought, and we spammed.
But times have darkened, many of us have departed it seems.
These halls lie silent.
It is an abomination.
Good thing I'm back.
It was filled with life, and joy. And so much rage and salt.
There came upon this place a saint, and a clown. He was kind, and brutal and wore the image of a great man.
He looked into this place and he saw it's potential...and he said "Let there be lulz"
And thus the spam was born.
As he spread the word of spam, there were many who hated him...and some who saw his wisdom.
The once great and now silent ones...
Col. Michael...Ishmayeck...Emma...
I was among them, and we were as brothers.
Even Emma, because this is my story and I don't feel like thinking about gender pronouns when discussing "people" on the internet.
Then Psi came to us, first as an enemy...but deep within, an ally.
We ran and frolicked in the fields of This and That...and in time we jolly few became many.
The spammers had arisen.
As our numbers began to bog down this wonderous place, it became necessary to create a home...a place where we could be free and do as we wished...
And so we were gifted with a Temple of Spam. To make our own, and love.
It was here that we honed our craft, learned how to survive in the greater forums. To fulfill our function, as Psi so wisely understood it.
We were the clowns, we would bring keks to an otherwise angry place...and remind the good and evil folks of these forums that this was, in the end, just a game.
The spammers took many paths, and in time we formed four great factions.
The First faction, the spammers who would not be contained. Short in skill, but with boundless enthusiasm. They were led by the Great One...Hidden. Though a powerfully destructive force, they were in their hearts spammers, and they made sure the greater forums did not forget who we were.
The Second faction, those of our enemies who became our allies. The mods who saw the humor in our souls, and sought to contain the first faction's destructive nature. For the good of all. Led by the Great One Psi Kiya Trist, first among many and one of the greater forum's eldest.
The Third Faction, the children of Buck. Spammers in their truest form, they seek to bring the lulz to everyone. Whether they want it or not. They self-contain refusing to use the power of spam without purpose. When one can spam the greater forums without fear, surviving the wrath of the mods...then one has ascended to the ranks of the Third Faction. The greatest of all spammers leads this faction, Buck himself...THE SUPREME HALLOWED ELDER GOD OF SPAM!
And finally...the Fourth Faction. We of the Fourth faction have walked all the other paths, and we have mastered them. But we answer a higher calling, to keep the histories of the Temple. To retain the culture of it's people, and to return in times of need. There have been few of the Fourth Faction...and I am it's founder.
It was a golden age. We reveled, and we fought, and we spammed.
But times have darkened, many of us have departed it seems.
These halls lie silent.
It is an abomination.
Good thing I'm back.
