OMG, it's dead!...
No it isn't! Clear!
*electric zapping noises*
It breathes!
Bump
How to write and ‘hi I’m new’ post without getting sabed, mocked, or ridiculed. (Not true for all cases, certain limitations may aply)
First: be polite, and run your text through a spell checker before you post. You need not do this all the time, but ATM you are looking to make a good first impression.
Second: choose a topic that is not based on facts but opinions. I.e. don’t ask about what UU are or do. Instead ask about something abstract such as how long it will take before you are attacked.
Third: do a brief search at least four pages deep in the newbie help, with your eyes looking to make sure someone hasn’t already posted.
Again, you won’t need to do this all the time, but we are looking for first impressions.
Fourth: check the front pages in both general sections, and if you want to be thorough dig down two or three pages. Again to make sure the Question you are about to ask hasn’t been answered.
Fifth: Avoid arguments you are a bug and there are those that like to squash.
Sixth: while avoiding arguments don’t be completely ‘gut-me-I’m-a-n00b’ (A mistake I made), while you ARE a n00b at some point you wont be and you need to be able to keep a constant personality throughout your posting and gaming career. You don’t want that personality to be a pushover.
Seventh: Keep the language simple, your not a trial lawyer nor a hillbilly, find a middle ground.
Eight: if you can, try and read as much of the general sections as possible this will answer many n00bish questions that will get you laughed at, and will also help you get a feel of the game and the forum personalities. This has many practical resonances i.e.
You needn’t commit suicide just cause a forum joker laughed at you, but you might want to consider it if you tick off the GA.
Nine: You are a n00b, and despite the threats, you aren’t likely to get sabbed based on your question.
As long as you are polite, explain you searched, etc. etc. etc. you physical account should be safe. (You may still be considered an idiot, but time will fix that).
Ten: Make sure you post in the newbie help section, and NO WHERE ELSE… don’t post multiple topics about the same thing… That and topic resurrection are not taken lightly.
More general guidelines: Read the stickies and be patient. If you have a commander ask him before you post. (My officers have had some of THE most asinine questions…)