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SuperSaiyan wrote:how so? when a toddler screams at you for telling him no cookies before dinner, and you slap him on the wrist each time he does it, he'll stop...

He presumably learns that from repeated refusal not from fear of your arm. If the slap played any part the child would not reach the 2nd time for fear of associated pain.

The analogy would be the guy who said that he`d spank his kid cos she was on the table and could fall down, so that shell never go up again. If he acted like you, hed take her down and scholded her. And did the same next time she climbed up. And the next and the next and the next. Eventually, same as with the cookies, the child would comprehend the message.

Thats the difference.

One is conditioning a reflex. The other is based on the childs comprehention.
Thats the point. Nobody is saying "dont touch your kid"/"dont be strict with your kid". They`re saying "dont go pavlov on your kid".

i know wat i do smack her little butt

I think its important that KMA pointed out he explains what the kids did wrong and the reason for the discipline. Not just a smack and i told you so.

I got beat when i did things and just got the "i told you so", i think some of the dumb things i did wrong as a kid could have been avoided if my parents didn't just needlessly hit me without explaining why what i was doing was wrong. Because If i thought it was so wrong to begin with i wouldn't have done it lol.

Instead it made me resentful and when i got to be a teenager I still did bad things and i got big enough where so my dad thought twice about using that kind discipline. It took alot of crap to happen before i realized i had to be responsible with my actions. Which is something i think you should always try to instill in your kids early on through proper discipline and explanation.

I hole heartedly agree with KMA for once.

ahhh, come on guys...it was bound to happen....sooner or laaaaaaaaaaaaater


on a more serious note, i have never smacked my kids out of anger, and smacking needs to used sparingly for the simple reason...a parent can get hooked on smacking their kids, because just like thriller, i was smacked as a kid for the smallest indiscretion without so much as a "i told you not to do it".

Brdavs wrote:

SuperSaiyan wrote:how so? when a toddler screams at you for telling him no cookies before dinner, and you slap him on the wrist each time he does it, he'll stop...

He presumably learns that from repeated refusal not from fear of your arm. If the slap played any part the child would not reach the 2nd time for fear of associated pain.

The analogy would be the guy who said that he`d spank his kid cos she was on the table and could fall down, so that shell never go up again. If he acted like you, hed take her down and scholded her. And did the same next time she climbed up. And the next and the next and the next. Eventually, same as with the cookies, the child would comprehend the message.

Thats the difference.

One is conditioning a reflex. The other is based on the childs comprehention.
Thats the point. Nobody is saying "dont touch your kid"/"dont be strict with your kid". They`re saying "dont go pavlov on your kid".

Repeated refusal doesn't work in all cases; nearly all of my cousins were disciplined that way, and now they don't ask- they just do whatever they want, and their parents are powerless to stop them.

I remember my parents giving me a good spanking whenever I misbehaved, and after a while, I would send myself to my room whenever I felt I misbehaved

from personal experience, smacking only works if the child gets an explanation of both the smack and where they went wrong. but in order (obviously) for the child to understand both where they went wrong and the smack itself, they have to have a certain level of comprehension, if they dont have that then all the smacking in the world wont make a bit of difference....in my personal experience that is. which is why i speak to my kids as adults and because the brain works best with images and not words, i use words to paint them a picture in their minds which also helps them to understand and comprehend what your telling them.

for all those that think smacking is a negative which can only produce negativity, you obviously dont know how to raise kids...

as the saying goes (from a males perspective), any fool can have kids, but only a man can raise those kids.