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Tin Man Season 1

Jack: (talking to his robot clone) Well, they’re all debating the meaning of life out there. Both Daniels think this is all fascinating, the Carters are arguing already. Teal’c feels left out. You and I’ve got a few things to talk about.
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The Torment of Tantalus Season 1

Carter: Where’s Daniel?
Jack: Oh, Ernest is showing him a new toy.
Carter: Really? What?
Jack: Some fancy light show that may be the key to our existence or something like that.
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The Nox Season 1

Jack: Wasn’t I just...?
Daniel: Killed.
Jack: Killed as in...
Daniel: Dead.
Jack: Dead.
Carter: Yeah, we know. We saw it happen. Same thing happened to us.
Jack: Well, this is a surprise, then.

Jack: (to the Nox) Sorry to drop in on you like this but we were....dead.

Jack: (to Carter about the Nox boy) No, we can’t keep him.

Something I spotted while Watching "Within the Serpent's Grasp" How can any of you missed it? I've seen a few quotes from the same episode.

Sam: "All we have to do is turn the ship around and head back to the planet we just came from"

Daniel: "Great, I'll just go and tell the pilot"

Watched "Seth" yet again today and found one that I missed out the last few times.

Seth -Who are you?
O'Neill -Well I'm Larry, that's Mo,(indicating Sam) and of course everyone's favourite, Curly.(nodding towards Daniel)

Teal'c: What Doc? Is my hour up already?

Daniel: Actuly, your 20 minutes are up. But we'll work our way up to an hour.

Funniest O'Neill Quote EVER! from Window Of Opportunity:

(Doc Frasier is examining Oneill's pupils)
Oneill: I ask you.... what could possibly be in my eye that could explain this!

Red Sky

<K'Tau sun turns away from normal spectrum>

Jack: (To Carter) What was that?
Carter: Some sort of solar shift.
Jack: Good, I thought I was having a stroke!

<Later, K'Tau sun turns back to normal spectrum>

Jack: (To Carter) Am I having a stroke?

Carter: As you know (insert Tok'ra planet) has a normal yellow sun.

Jack: So?

Jacob: We want to blow it up.

Jack: Thats...

Jack and Daniel together: Ambitious.

Crayshack wrote:Carter: As you know (insert Tok'ra planet) has a normal yellow sun.

Vorash was the planet

Beachhead

<Mitchell walks up to the Prior>

Mitchell: Hello, I'm Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitche.....

Prior: I know who you are.

Daniel: Ya, he just told you his name.

Mitchell: Hey, that is an explosive that will disintegrate everything within a hundred mile radius. You have 30 of our 'Earth minutes' to change your mind about staying. Daniel?

Daniel: Me? OK. We know what you are offering and we are not interested. Now, if you try this on any other world we will find you and we will fight you.....

Mitchell: That's it?

<Daniel nods>

Mitchell: I just gave him 30 minutes.

<They break off the conversation with the Prior and talk amongst themselves. A few seconds later Mitchell walks back to the Prior>

Mitchell: Hey Prior, you do realize you're in a hundred mile radius right?

lol

From Ex Deus Machina

Ba'al: I have no desire to harm you or anyone else of this world. That said, you should know that I've placed a naquadah bomb somewhere in the united states.

I liked that.

I re-watched that part a few times funny as hell

Four Baal's are sitting in one room (no pun intended) and are calmly going on with their lives.

Oh yeah, and at the beginning when the Jaffa is running through the woods, I'm thinking "This must be Chulak or something."
Then this random car comes flying into him and two hillbillys get out and there like "What the hell?"

That's classic.

This is more funny because of how the guy reacted to it:



Jaffa: (Points staff weapon at guy) "Where is the false god Ba'al!"

(The guy looks at him with a "WTH" expression on his face)




I though that was very funny.

LOL

lol LordApophisOne tht was pretty great