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Okaay So i'm 15, and on the 18th May (Last Month) I Lost My Mum Through A Heart Attack. Everthing At Home Has Become Terrible and ive dropped into serious depression. I Just Cant Handle Thing, I Missed Half Of My Exams Because Of It. Im Now Sitting The graddes I Need To Get Into Uni This Year.

I Just need Help On Maybe Getting Through

Maybe Counsiling Would Be A Good Option, Something Like That.

Thaaanks
I Cant Go To Anyone With My Problems So Thank You If You Even Read Without Replying.
Much Appreciated.
Unknown234 (Before Known As Shuggy123)

Sorry about the loss of your mother. Mine died 5 years ago.

The best closure for your grief would be to study for your mom. Get into university for your mom. It's paying her back for what she's done for you. It's doing something for her which you know she would like very much.

You'll come to terms with your grief and achieve what you want achieve. Hitting 2 birds with ones tone.

weilandsmith wrote:Sorry about the loss of your mother. Mine died 5 years ago.

The best closure for your grief would be to study for your mom. Get into university for your mom. It's paying her back for what she's done for you. It's doing something for her which you know she would like very much.

You'll come to terms with your grief and achieve what you want achieve. Hitting 2 birds with ones tone.

Thaaanks,
Yeah Thats Mostly The Things My Family Where Saying.

The Rest of My Family Arent Bright And Left School As Soon As Possible, But I Heard from alot of friends of hers she was proud of me, and liked how my band was making it semi-big time, and how i wanted to go to uni and be an accountant.

So, ive had 3 days of the current school year and i intend on doing my best in my school work, wiith 200% work effort, the extra 100% coming from the love and admiration of my mum.

Thanks Again
Nicee To See My Alliance Leader Helping Out To

Sad news, old friend. I am sorry for your loss, it is indeed one of the most severe losses one can suffer.

Personally, I would say you should go into counseling. I've been in counseling myself.. it really helps. And believe me, it's not just for crazy people (like I used to think before going there).

well best advice is to suck it up, and be a man. Loss is a natural and unavoidable part of life. Its inevitable, I know that to someone so young it does not help with what your facing, or the loss of such a monumental part of your life, but its the truth. Its one thing, that if you can come to accept properly, will help you on your way.

As for the immediate future. I would say to you to find a hobby, a sport of something to channel your grief into. Channeling it into your school work could become distracting and may well hinder you more. If it makes you feel better, you know, as well as I know (and I never met your mum) she will have wanted you to do well, and focusing on her is going to stop that. So do it for yourself, but remember its for her, just keep that positive thought and ignore the idea of loss. That is also truth and good advice. No real parent ever wants to see their child fail with something so important that they themselves want.

Good luck with your exams, and keep your chin up and your head down.

i am not gonna say i know how you feel, cause every kid has a different relationship with their mother, but regardless, the connection between mother and son is a powerful one, and i know what it's like to have that bond severed. i lost my mom for a little over a year due to drugs (she did not die, however, hence i do not know truly how you feel), but at the age of 12(i am now 17), any seperation from one of the few things in the world that has comforted you is absolutely devastating...i went through my ordeal alone with no help, and, in some ways, it royally screwed me up, but in most ways, i truly am a better person because of the loss, even if it was on temporary...and i really dont want you to go through this alone...

i am not going to tell you to man up and get overit because loss is a part of life, because, although that is true, you will come to the realization on your own and no sooner (plus, many men, or women, will ever come to grips with the reality that death is inevitable...human nature to shy from that which is unpleasent and unknown...)

also, i will not tell you to live how your mother would want you to live. you must live how you want you to live, because otherwise there is no true accomplishment behind much of anything that you do.

instead, do me the favor of doing this: use your mother as motivation to accomplish what you hope to achieve in life. live for the values she raised you with and, most important of all, live FOR her. she was taken from this world prematurely, so it falls to you, her son, to live as fullfilling a life as possible. as much of a burden as it may be, it is also a blessing

and if you need ANYTHING, do not hesitate to ask it of me, as i truly do try to help everyone who needs it, both in-game and in RL(my name in-game is now mr jim if u need to pm me...)

p.s. does uni stand for university or university of norther iowa? if it is the later, i actually live very close to you, apparently, as i live in anamosa, ia (next to/above cedar rapids...)

-mr jim

im sry for your loss m8 , stay strong, and the best advice i saw here and i make that my advice also is:

bleedingblue wrote:...
instead, do me the favor of doing this: use your mother as motivation to accomplish what you hope to achieve in life. live for the values she raised you with and, most important of all, live FOR her. she was taken from this world prematurely, so it falls to you, her son, to live as fullfilling a life as possible. as much of a burden as it may be, it is also a blessing
...

live for her

Semper wrote:well best advice is to suck it up, and be a man. Loss is a natural and unavoidable part of life. Its inevitable, I know that to someone so young it does not help with what your facing, or the loss of such a monumental part of your life, but its the truth. Its one thing, that if you can come to accept properly, will help you on your way.

As for the immediate future. I would say to you to find a hobby, a sport of something to channel your grief into. Channeling it into your school work could become distracting and may well hinder you more. If it makes you feel better, you know, as well as I know (and I never met your mum) she will have wanted you to do well, and focusing on her is going to stop that. So do it for yourself, but remember its for her, just keep that positive thought and ignore the idea of loss. That is also truth and good advice. No real parent ever wants to see their child fail with something so important that they themselves want.

Good luck with your exams, and keep your chin up and your head down.

I only just saw this but i wanted to say that a true man has no fear in showing his emotions. - if you bottle it up the pain you feel will control your life.

As for doing things for your mum, semper has it right there. Dont do anything because it will make her happy or its what she wanted. All parents just want their children to be happy and safe in what ever they choose to do. IF it makes you happy then do it but do it for yourself because in making yourself happy she would have been happy.

Never forgot but dont let it dictate your life

Nox wrote:im sry for your loss m8 , stay strong, and the best advice i saw here and i make that my advice also is:

bleedingblue wrote:...
instead, do me the favor of doing this: use your mother as motivation to accomplish what you hope to achieve in life. live for the values she raised you with and, most important of all, live FOR her. she was taken from this world prematurely, so it falls to you, her son, to live as fullfilling a life as possible. as much of a burden as it may be, it is also a blessing
...

live for her

Thanks Guys, I Appreciate it, it's coming up two months now. Things Are Getting Easier Day By Day, Im Gonna try my best to make her proud of me. Ive been told she was always proud of me cause non of my brothers or sisters really done anything with their lives and im the only one try to make somthing in this world.

And Uni stands for university, im from Scotland, but hoping to move to america after my accoutnancy degree to start a business up with my best friend.

Thanks Again.
Shuggy123

Sorry for what happened.

I would start praying and ask for help.

*hugs for everyone*
I lost my mother when i was 12 due to cancer, and even tho its going on 11 years now, she is still in my thoughts. The are times when i miss her more than others, miss the female influence in my life but she still drives me to be the best person that i can be.
My heart goes out to you huny. I admire you ability to cope and get on with things..extra big hug for u.

And to everyone else, its great to see this kind of support available for people

i just wanted to comment


I lost my dad when i was 9 to cancer, so I can truly say I can understand how you may feel.

I always found comfort knowing that somewhere he's out there watching over me and keeping an eye out for me... helping me out in ways I did not know where possible (or even know he did at all).

Although they may have moved on, they are not gone for as long as you remember them they will live on forever in your spirit.

With that, no one in their right mind would expect you to get up and get over it in a month, two months or even a year. These kinds of wounds take time to heal and it is up to you to understand the situation and come to terms with it by any means that helps YOU.

If you are in a true state of depression I can only say please get help. Getting a psychiatrist/councellor is the *best* way to go. These people are trained professionals, trained to understand your feelings and understanding a message you are trying convey. They are trained to help.

Do not forget that a helping hand can be found anywhere you look for it (except drugs and suicide).