Karate Kid 2010 Remake ( Contains Spoilers )

[MEZZANINE]

This film is SSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD I feel the need to put my disgust into words and warn you all so you dont feel the disappointment I did when watching it.

Will Smith produced it, and since he put the money up, he got to put his son in the lead role, little person BIG mistake, in fact the kid is so short that if I was Will Smith I would demand a Paternity DNA test.

OK so lets break it down,

1) Karate Kid, but the kid does not learn Karate, he learns a very limited number of Kung Fu moves, or so the movie says, Im not convinced the moves belong to Kung Fu either

2) The characters are to young, Drey ( the main kid played my Will Smiths son ) is meant to be 12, he actually looks about 8 or 9. So the Chinese girl he 'falls' for and gets in a fight with the bullies over is actually like a kiddies play date, still at the age where kids see kissing and go yuk.

3) Jackie Chan actually gets out of breath beating up a couple of 10 year olds. Jackie is a funny guy and very talented martial artist in most of his films but in this one it's like he took a day off, definitely a sense of 'Im only doing this for the money'.

4) The mother does the usual Afro-Caribbean American over acting thing shouting, waving her arms round and doing that wobbly head thing they do for god knows what reason.

5) The scenes from the original that have been copied very badly

i) The fly swat. Instead of catching a fly with chopsticks Jackie Chan points at a fly with chop stick then swats it with a flyswatted, this is the the closest thing to humour in the film and would have worked in a spoof film.

ii) The training, we all remember the wax on, wax off, paint the fence, sand a floor etc, well this film has only one, hang our coat up and it dont work at all, even if the move made sense the kid is so small that Jackie Chan could step on him.

iii) The rescue from the bullies, Mr Miyagi, a little guy beat up several big karate champion 18 year olds without breaking a sweat in less than a minute, Mr Han ( Jackie Chan ) takes over 5 mins to beat up several little children 1/3 his size, and after he hobbles off out of breath and sweating.

iv) The healing hands, Mr Miyagi does the clap and some kind of massage once early on then again when the dirty move is used in the tournament, Mr Han uses some funny looking burning cotton wool and glass cups, again early on, but then in the tournament he suddenly magics up these props from mid air, either that or he pulls them out his ass.

v) The drunk remembrance, Miyagi was beleiveable, and you could see the anguish and loss from a great actor, then Daniel watches him pass out and see's the medals/photo's and understands. Mr Han tells a self pity tale in his funny broken english to a child who just looks daft and drags a drunken Chan back into so called 'training'.

vi) The Crane kick that Daniel learns from Miyagi was great, you see him watching Wiyagi do it, practices and pulls it off. The new kid watches some women charming a snake and then by turning his head side to side in eye contact can do a back flip kick that not only has he never seen or practiced, but you can clearly see he could never get the height to make contact with a taller opponents head.

vii) The water joke, Daniel humiliates the bullies by soaking them with a shower hose at a party, the new kid is so young he would be lucky to get into McDonalds unattended so no party he just throws a bucket in water at someone.

You know what I could pick the whole thing apart scene by scene but thankfully it is already fading from memory and I hope I will forget ever seeing it. I feel sorry for the kids of today who have this rubbish when people my age had a work of genius iconic film.

My advise, if you have to see it, have low expectations. But frankly you'd be better off just renting the original if it's for your kids or yourself.

[Darth Optimus]

I figured the movie would be terrible. Nothing beats a bad remake that's why I watch my movies on-line.

[nightlight]

Agreed...worse remake EVER...
and what was with that kick at the end...

[Noobert]

I'll tell you right now - I watched this to a movie pretending it not to be a remake, or anything like that.

I enjoyed the movie from that stand point, however, the movie was awful compared to the old.

Will Smith is a Legend in my books in terms of acting, just as Russel Crowe, and a few others but his son needs improvement.

I think he will do good in the future.