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Okay here is the deal, please don't judge me as i'm coming as honest as I can... and as a real plee for help from all of you who are my friends in this forum...

I have control Issues... long story short, I manipulate myself into believeing what I think is legit, even if it's garbage, I know I have to think like if I continute i'll lose her, and I try until I think of things that bug me, then I get this feeling in my stomach and heart like being broken up with, all because I don't like something?

now the question is how do I stop it, I can't afford professional help or I would try...

I have always controlled, and I find myslef to be one of the best manipulators around this town, I am good lol...

But I can't stop, now i'm at the point where I manipulate myself... and I truley feel almost stabbed in the back when I don't get my way...

Can someone please help me...

I assume your talking about a girlfreind?

And he do I know your not trying to manipulate us with the post.... You said y where good

Lover, ppl lie to themselves all the time... it's when they actually start believing that the lie is real that the real issue occurs.

You have acknowledged you have a major issue, only one person can make you change and that is you.

Its like smoking, you will give up the lies when you are ready to.. and this seems like a step in the right direction.. stay strong

as it is said

To Thy Own Self Be True

Harchester said

Scott - It is impossible to love, and be wise.... says (5:53 AM):
*
1) a Bridge
2) Train

if they dont solve it for you, come book an apointment at me

Maybe until you resolve this issue it is not wise to be in a relationship with someone?

Self delusion is very common, the only solution I know of is good friends who will be honest with you, and listening to them when they slap you back into reality

Get saved

I agree with some of the people above.

You know you do it. Now stop doing it. Try not to let it get further than the initial lie. Always have someone else there to snap you back into reality (friends are better than lovers for this job). If you're so good at manipulating yourself, why don't you simply manipulate yourself into not manipulating yourself anymore?

Doesn't work lol, with control sometimes it's weird you lie to yourself and upset yourself your never happy with anything the other one does, and once they change one thing you find another thing you hate about them lol it's a long process but i'm in the middle of getting better!

Stop trying to get her to change then, she'll end up being nothing like the girl you fell in love with and you'll hate her and yourself for it.

Go talk to your GP about this too, he might know of mens groups that help ppl deal with these feelings.

ƒemme ƒatale wrote:Stop trying to get her to change then, she'll end up being nothing like the girl you fell in love with and you'll hate her and yourself for it.

Go talk to your GP about this too, he might know of mens groups that help ppl deal with these feelings.

Exactly, one has to remember that when you fall in love with someone - you love their flaws too. Even though they seam to bug the hell out of ya from time to time.

It actually surprised me once how much I loved someone's flaws...

Clarkey wrote:Maybe until you resolve this issue it is not wise to be in a relationship with someone?

Or maybe not , she gave him the will to chang , it might be unwise to take her away from him , beside ppls changs or else there was no point of liveing really... thats my opnion thought.
~IF~

MEZZANINE wrote:Self delusion is very common, the only solution I know of is good friends who will be honest with you, and listening to them when they slap you back into reality

Agreed.

The only possible way is to have those type of friends who know you are full of **Filtered**, and beat your ass back into reality (aka those friends who deflate your egotism, etc).

I love those friends.

Noobert wrote:

MEZZANINE wrote:Self delusion is very common, the only solution I know of is good friends who will be honest with you, and listening to them when they slap you back into reality

Agreed.

The only possible way is to have those type of friends who know you are full of **Filtered**, and beat your ass back into reality (aka those friends who deflate your egotism, etc).

I love those friends.

Jack needs more of those friends. *unrelated*

That's obvious. Jack is one of the devil's minions.

Just don't let a woman near him and you are fine!