StarGateWars Forums

Email in work thats hits the nail on the head

These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Football
Or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
To give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

To give them a bigger laugh.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

Good point! XD

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

Wrong but hillarious.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Football

True stuff. That's why women who like talking about football (real football played with feet) are cooler than the others.

*Emails to all his exes*

Sickipedia? Haha.

There should be one more in there.

"When we show you or tell you a joke, it's a joke, take it as one. Not everything has a hidden meaning behind it."

Hahahaha, this is win.

*points out Christopher Columbus, did indeed get lost*

Men would never get lost if women knew how to read a map.

"Hunny, that map is upside down!"

Cole wrote:

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

Good point! XD

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

Wrong but hillarious.

not the only wrong one, but most of them have a fair bit of truth.

Cole wrote:

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Football

True stuff. That's why women who like talking about football (real football played with feet) are cooler than the others.

ya'll forgot gaming and sci-fi movies...

ƒëmmë ƒatalë wrote:*points out Christopher Columbus, did indeed get lost*

mostly because he found something in his way that he didn't expect...

kinda like finding a Woolworths on the way to a David Jones Limited, and thinking that you found the back door to a David Jones Limited warehouse...

He merely found something several others had found long before him...

Noobert wrote:Men would never get lost if women knew how to read a map.

"Hunny, that map is upside down!"

+1

I took the ex to Perth last year, 1 week in i invested in a GPS, best thing i ever did.

xDaku wrote:*Emails to all his exes*

Give this man a win!

stuff of legends wrote:

Noobert wrote:Men would never get lost if women knew how to read a map.

"Hunny, that map is upside down!"

+1

I took the ex to Perth last year, 1 week in i invested in a GPS, best thing i ever did.

win.

that have anything to do with her being the ex?

handheld / carheld GPS is such hopelessly inaccurate technology... No positional precision to speak of...