Short.

[Emma Desala]

I'm gone. Emma out.

I guess you'll realise what lies you've forced me to in a while. What would you have done? You would never have accepted the REAL truth.

I thank everyone who's been with us in the past month, who has prayed for us and who thought about us.

No, no specific mentions here. If you know me, you know who I'll thank.
God bless you all.


I guess people will go aflame in this thread. Don't. Or do. I don't care.



Regards,

[CRASSUS]

i PM'ed you..

goodbye elladan.

[Rottenking]

hmm...i knew someonething was fishy from the day i gave u my quantum account...

dont let the door hit you on the way out

[Spacey]

As a preventative measure I will add: This is not a place for threats/flaming. I haven't seen any yet, and I don't want to.

Callie, Emma, or whoever you may be: this was wrong on so many levels.

Apollo was very right that I felt terrible for not mentioning to see a doctor sooner. Perhaps all the talk about headaches and pain was all a farce. Using me as your pawn to further whatever you wished to achieve?

You know whenever I heard the word coma or cancer I remember a good friend that I lost last summer. He died of a rare form of cancer. Whenever I came to this thread I remembered him, so I stopped coming, and only was brought back to it from seeing this thread in the quitting section. I remembered the conversation I had with him, telling him not to worry, relax, and wait for his ultrasound appt.(the earliest he could get). Telling him to try to forget it for the time being and have fun with the kids. When I heard or read the word coma I remember hearing that he had slipped into one for a week, and I remember seeing him lying in his casket and saying my last goodbyes. I developed picture a couple of weeks ago from almost two years ago and many contained my friend Alex.

Callie/Emma proof for you is here, and here.

I suppose it my own dysfunction that when I think of him I remember another kid(9/10yrs. old), one of my kids at camp(summer employment), that died from cancer this past December.

When you deal with people here you are really dealing with real people who have lived through things they either aren't ready to remember, or don't wish to, even though this is online.

I suppose all of this was hogwash:

{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
hey... i have to go and sleep now i have a headache and a bit of pain in my chest. quite bad really
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
or at least some of the time
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
hehe
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
you didn;t answer me what you meant by secratery
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
pain in your chest huh?
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
yeh hurts
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
and tingles
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
you should probably see a doc about it
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
not a divinity doc
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
a real one
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
heh yeh was planning to, but i can only see one when 'tis almost xmas
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
really,there is a limit on seeing a doc
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
do you have a history of chest pain?
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
but i'll see one anyways secretary = one who takes notes and keeps diary and al
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
hmm
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
yeh
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
kind of
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
have you see anyone about it before
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
fell on a brick once when i was a kid
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
do it hurt when you breathe?
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
is it difficult for you to breathe?
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
yeh quite... like somthing ties my chest
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
sometimes
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
inhaling?
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
ie. breathing is both inhaling and exhaling
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
mostly yep
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
can breathe to a limit, then it hurts
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
well I can tell you about the physiology about it, but not what it is
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
do tell
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
I would say decreased o2 to lungs to tissues, increased h+ and decreased pH
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
it also makes my head tingle and feel all dizzy aha. i actually got that
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
increased co2 from tissues and less being removed by respiration
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
poisoning myself
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
lol
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
short term you are respriing more to compensate for increased co2
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
long term kidneys are filiering for H+ and reabs. more bicarb HCO3-
Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
does that make my side hurt?
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
body breaks down more gultamine to make bicarc to increase buffer in system to reduce pH
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
I don't know
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
you should see a nurse or a doc
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
breathing and breathy well is important
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
yeh... like yoga breathing? :-O
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
i'm being serious
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
see one soon
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
get some sleep tonoght
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
ok?
{GAD} Elladan Míriël {Ω Allegiance - Q}
yep i will
the PURSUIT of HAPPYNESS...I wish...
ok, well gonight

I was genuinely concerned for your well being Callie/Emma, and worried a lot. I relived some of the most painful memories I've had visiting the "illness" thread.

*sigh*

I wish you well.

Kevin
(Spacey)

[CrimsonFrost]

Despite my disdain for what has happened, I fully support what Spacey has said regarding flaming/spamming this thread.

This thread will be treated like any other quitting thread.

[Juliette]

As a preventative measure I will add: This is not a place for threats/flaming. I haven't seen any yet, and I don't want to.

Thanks, to you too CrimsonFrost.

Callie, Emma, or whoever you may be: this was wrong on so many levels.

Ah, it was. It was, in that I failed to reconnect to reality after writing my own story.

Apollo was very right that I felt terrible for not mentioning to see a doctor sooner. Perhaps all the talk about headaches and pain was all a farce. Using me as your pawn to further whatever you wished to achieve?

Never have I used you as a pawn, nor have I ever intended to do so.
I did feel that pain. I had those dizzinesses. The thing is they were psychosomatical.

Callie/Emma proof for you is here, and here.

This hurts me more. I'm not one to demand proof of everything at every turn. I'm one of the most naive persons in the world. Consider this: I deceive many people and still believe them when they say I'm their friend after all that's happened.

I suppose it my own dysfunction that when I think of him I remember another kid(9/10yrs. old), one of my kids at camp(summer employment), that died from cancer this past December.

Is this one of the kids whose pics you showed me?

When you deal with people here you are really dealing with real people who have lived through things they either aren't ready to remember, or don't wish to, even though this is online.

And here we have the exact cause of my failure. I lost this perspective.

I suppose all of this was hogwash:

Not quite. But seeing how disbelief and pain have overtaken you, understandably, I will not go and attempt to explain that.

I was genuinely concerned for your well being Callie/Emma, and worried a lot. I relived some of the most painful memories I've had visiting the "illness" thread.

It is a cursed thread.



I will now repost what I posted in Announcements.

I am Calliopè.
Castor is my boyfriend and Emma's brother.
Emma was my best friend.
She died 6 weeks ago after being in a coma for a month. Psychologists advised me to write a story about it. I did. Except that I reversed the roles, and that I posted it on SGW while it was growing. Thus dragging an unwitting community along with my story. ...
Other then a general anger at everything, I have no reason to drag SGW along in my story. As you can see, I attempted to sever the links at times while telling the story.
Because I was not reasonable anymore and everyone followed my every word, I decided to take it to a next level, and make a window story. One told the story of Callie who took ill, and the other told of the SGW community who fell for that. That's just evil when I look back.
While it does hurt me to say it, you HAVE been used. I apologise, in the hope that you will accept my apology.
I NEVER intended to hurt you personally... I lost my perspective while dealing with my own grief.
I am Calliopè. As much as I would like to have you believe me 100%, I could understand if you don't.
If ever you have ANY doubts about my words, ask me, and I promise I will answer in truth.



So much for trying to lose weight. I can't be more subtle than an elephant in a china store.


With all due respect,
Calliopè.

And this

When you deal with people here you are really dealing with real people who have lived through things they either aren't ready to remember, or don't wish to, even though this is online.

is the exact point where I made the biggest mistake of my online life.



Erm, also I hereby announce that this thread is EMMA DESALA's goodbye thread, and NOT my own. I'm still here, masochistic as I am.
The fires have been rekindled.






With all due respect,
Calliopè.

[Se7en]

Can someone post a recap of the whole situation?

*grabs popcorn*

[killtacular]

I'm gone. Emma out.

I guess you'll realise what lies you've forced me to in a while.

You have some nerve pfft!!!!!!!

[CrimsonFrost]

Thanks, to you too CrimsonFrost.

I don't want your thanks, so don't bother. I carry my duties as a moderator above my personal feelings.

[Juliette]

Ah well, why protect people that left? ... It's been fun, save for a few hiccups.
In the end it all comes down to simple things, that become weapons of mass-destruction when put out of context.



With all due respect,
Calliopè

[surfey*chik]

hang on,im lsot,so elladen was "pretending" to be emma delesa(or howeva spelt) so really elladen is OK and not in hospital?? or am i imagining things and goign nuts??

[Juliette]

Myseri put it right, the story I spelled should be in a book and not in the hearts of people.


So Ali, yeah, I am fine. Do you remember the beginning of your sigmaking career? I know I do. I love what you've managed to produce, girl.



With all due respect,
Calliopè

[surfey*chik]

Myseri put it right, the story I spelled should be in a book and not in the hearts of people.


So Ali, yeah, I am fine. Do you remember the beginning of your sigmaking career? I know I do. I love what you've managed to produce, girl.



With all due respect,
Calliopè

haha cool

[Cole]

well goodbye i always felt you and emma were too similar but well goodbye

[CRASSUS]

[

Erm, also I hereby announce that this thread is EMMA DESALA's goodbye thread, and NOT my own. I'm still here, masochistic as I am.
The fires have been rekindled.






With all due respect,
Calliopè.

umm...then this is just spam and should be deleted...i hope you listened to my advice elladan..catch you on MSN