lets joke around

[Drag0n]

not sure if anyone has a thread dedicated to the telling of jokes. or if this is even the right place to start one.
i figured we need a place to come and read when we are down... a place where we can hopefully crack a smile
a place to post jokes and pics to try and help cheer others up.


i'll start


My Dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you tit. Some bastard has stolen our tent."

[Biscuit]

That's a brilliant joke

[rdr3777]

a farmer is looking for money around the house and so after looking all over

he gos to the bed room and looks around he sees a box hiden under the

bed he never seen before so he pulls it out and opens it in it he finds

three ears of corn and $5000


at that time his wife walks in from the store and sees him with the box

she saays to him "houny i so sarry i ment to tell you but i never could

oh my god i'am so sarry" the farm looks up at his wife and gets off the

bed and says to her "what is it." see looks up at him through her

hands in her face and says "well please forgive me you must i'am so sarry"

he counters back "ok i forgive you what ever it is I could never hate you"

she said to him "well the box....."

"every time I was unfathful i put a ear of corn in the box..." him "ok i can

forgive you but never cheat on me again...but whats with the

money " "but" "its ok hou...." "no theres more every time i got a bashel i

sold it"

a preracher's wife told me this one

[Drag0n]

lmao

next one....
this is a video...lmao

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2279093/best_of_elevator/