How I would have farted on the Batman Franchise

[Saturnine]

Lets face it.. Batman is a big joke. Every director who was given the go ahead to make another "exciting" chapter in the Batman universe has just skrewed it up even worse. Think of Batman Directors like Pharoh's:

*Batman Director assumes power, Batman director considers himself the god of the batman universe, changing anything that strikes his fancy. Batman director attempts to outdue or contradict the last Batman Pharoh before him. Erasing his name and vision from the temples of our mind, etching therein the newest twist on Batman.*

Every director has sucessfully stunk up the whole franchise with their vision. Its a big scam to get your money. I hope you didnt fall for it. I am pleased to announce that you didnt!! Its time for the world to just strike the match and be done with batman forever!! The whole Batman franchise has went bankrupt and I traded a few cupons to MC Donalds to own the rights!!

Ahhhhh... now its time to make the final installment in the Batman Chronology, my masterpiece:

BATMAN: Euthanasia

-Instead of WAYNE ENTERPRISES. I'm thinking more along the lines of a modern company. How about MICROSOFT instead? When I sucessfully get sued halfway through the production for all of the funding to film this crap I will proceed to shoot the rest of the film on Cell Phone cameras. This will be my excuse for why my movie sucked so bad. At least I have one, its pretty valid-

-I would actually star Michael Keaton As the Joker and Jack Nicolson as Batman. If your not confused yet prepare to be astonished further!!

-Batman would create all kinds of cool crazy devices. He would then miss the bill on the Batcave and move to more desirable living: BatGovernment Housing!!-

- The Riddler would be my star villian. Many of you may remember how certain charecters had the tendancy to get darker or lighter in the old series? Well. I would constanly cast different races throughout the film to play the riddler. One minute he would be black, then white, then oriental, then Arabic. The only one that can notice this in the film is Robin. Who always points this out to the rest of the cast. Who cannot tell the difference and they tell him to shut up and stop annoying them. I hope I fooled you into believing my charecter still has validity after it changes actors/races more than these directors have to change their underwear during brainstorming sessions.-

-I would make thousands of batman toys that do different batman things, then I would make one riddler toy. OH WAIT!! They already so this!! Ok then, I would make one Batman, and 1000 different comissioner Gordons. We'd have "Commissioner Gordon on the Crapper" "Taco Eating Commissioner Gordon" "Morning Jogger Comissioner Gordon" I would also include Comissioner Gordon in only five minutes of my film in total, leaving enraged children to wonder what the hell my disfunction is!!-

-I would make many different "Batmen" I dunno what the proper term is, "Bat Ethnic Faction?" There would be BatTaxiDriver, BatPolicemen, Bat Walmart Cart Pusher. In other Words more bats than you could shake a stick at. I would then proceed to re-write the origin of batman. He didnt become batman. He was born Batman. Hes a Batimmigrant from bat-country.

-When batman dies at the end of the movie, you discover he was just a robot. As he wails and a massive wormhole extends from his chest sky high: Minature Adam Wests, Michael Keatons, George Cloonies, and Val Kilmers would crawl out of his underpanties and run for cover. They would definentely be wearing Love Boat get up.

If this doesnt put an end to the insanity of Batman, I dont know what will.

[Ramius]

My brother went to see the last batman movie. I didn't though. Not my kind of thing.

[Apocalypse(Amon Ra)]

I saw it wasn't ahlf as bad as alexander or Star Wars (I wish i could jsut lock george lucas away on a deserted island for that ) and it didn't suck no where near as back as the Matrix series (i saw one and then i went to see two but left half way and three i saw just to confirm to myself that the series is really over)

[Ramius]

Star Wars episode 3 was awesome!

[Apocalypse(Amon Ra)]

I want my 9.95 back

[BombedDeer]

But then we would have to kill you. Its a fanboy thing.

[Saturnine]

But then we would have to kill you. Its a fanboy thing.

This will happen during the credits. I will take the stage to accept the award for the most decent batman movie ever made and a Bat-fundamentalist will launch molitov-coctails onstage.

[Saturnine]

Arrr my mateys, time for another grave robbin bump down memory lane!!!

[Adnihilo]

i wasnt around back then

[The Xeno]

~locked~ Perhaps we'll find some was to archieve these thread... but atm the light of day only shows off their wrinkles.