A Bedtime Story ('soccer' fans)

[Quina Quen]

Once upon a time a stranger named “Eggbert the Bald” brought down his hoard of gold from the frozen north. He threw it about like a “big brother contestant” trying to buy friends and brought in mercenaries to help his tribal leader “Curbs the unliked” claim the big silver pot back from the Red Devils of the north.
His strongest mercenary, an orc named Tev Ez had been whisked away by the wizard Joorab in his Kia and taken to “Rednose”, the lord of the northern devils. There he was made to stay for two circles round the sun by the curse of loan. He could then buy his freedom or be cast forever into the “bowels of mancunia”

The infamous “Bellers the bad” was brought to replace Tev Ez. He was lured from the bitter rivals of the Red Devils, the strange speaking “championes”. No one knew where the name came from but it was believed that they had once been holders of the silver pot many moons ago. No one in the Sky had ever seen or could remember this occurrence.

“Eggbert” used more and more of his gold to lure greedy misfits to the “iron gates of Boleyn” his eerie lair by the murky river, shrouded by smoke.
“Lucas the yellow and red” was quickly enticed by the bright and shiny coins, away from the “Wildrovers”, a small but ferocious tribe in the Lancastria hills.
However, bitter wrangling had engulfed Eggberts schemes because of the deceptions of “Terence the brown” and the Hammer clan, but his loyal shamen ritually tore up and burned the “scroll of thirdparty” using the acrid smoke to create an illusion of truth and so escape the vengeance of “McCabe the tyke”, the last of the “yarkshireprems” a man who had his golden chair at the “top table” stolen by “Terence” and his cohorts.

A host of mercenaries craved for Eggberts gold, amongst them “Dyer the lame” from the “atrophied” north east, “Frederick the Swede” a honorary Gaul and thespian and “Wright the cack handed” a discarded keeper of the nets.
“Darren the bent” a demoted “Addick” was nearly captured by the smell from 17 and a half bags of golden millions, but he ran off to join the “men of the lane”. A tribe with a giant leader and egos to match who thought they could enter the “circle of four” a sacred and wealthy coven who swore fealty to the European god “champsleague”.

“Eggberts” first battle ended in defeat when “Sven of the blue moon” came to the fields of “Upton” and stuck two past him. A serious blow which threatened the leadership of “Curbs the unliked” (so named by one who fled to the “cottage of the craven”)
The mercenaries have since travelled to the “Mid Wastelands and managed to steal the “three points” from “Ugly Bruce of Brum” by means of the “falling in the box” trick but still the future looks bleak and littered with sorrow.

[Cole]

[Q Man]

that was great!

[Juliette]

lmao! Very entertaining, DD.
My hero: Tev Ez.